I’m in a quandary.
In what space at this weekly endeavor should I insert the new feature quoting coaches talking clever?
After my shticky lede, right before the predictions?
After picks over my byline?
Or, right at the top, where this week’s is placed because it perfectly summarizes my mediocre, borderline dismal opening foray of predictication?
CoachSpeak of the Week: We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking. — John McKay.
How lame was I out of the gate?
Lamer than than Cosmo-trained Rae Jet, after jumping the rail in a claiming race at Miles Park, and sticking his head in a betting window.
North Carolina’s rejuvenated defense blanketed TCU’s TP QB from Harvard, like he was wrapped in dense Cambridge Ivy. Got that one wrong.
Virginia proved all those late, close Ws last season weren’t a fluke. Ever overhyped under impressive Wolfpack was/were tamed. Got that one wrong.
Stanford’s Fighting Andrew Lucks were not about to fall to the Rainbow Warriors two seasons in a row. Got that one wrong.
My everlasting schadenfreude toward all matter Memphis State kicked me in the butt. The Tigers beat Vegas. So, got that one wrong also.
Victories by Florida State (barely), Southern Cal, North Dakota State and Eastern Michigan allowed me to tread water instead of drowning.
Four up. Four down.
It’s time to get right.
This week’s winners:
Wisconsin vs. Notre Dame (Green Bay). Luke Fickell seems to have a feline number of lives in Madison. Where is he now, 3d, 4th? But it’s put up or shut up time, or the ghost of Crazy Legs will lay him low. And out of a job. He has to begin to try to start some reclamation in this one. Unfortunately it’s in iconic Green Bay. Against a truly boffo Fighting Irish squad wearing Packer throwback garb. With a giant CFP snub chip on their shoulder. Notre Dame, perhaps hugely.
Southern Methodist @ Florida State. The Seminoles were less than scintillating in their opener. But they won. And that’s all that matters. This one on their home turf is the test that will give us a hint about Mike Norvell’s future in Tallahassee. Game experience in Week O can’t hurt. Because this is the Mustangs’ opener. It’s going to be tight. But, until Norvell proves he’s back to that ’23 pre-bowl laydown form, they’ll have to show me. Southern Methodist.
Clemson @ Louisiana State. Former Louisiana dictator Huey P. Long was fully involved with State U’s football program. Wrote the fight song that soundtracks their field entry. Fired not one but two coaches. Russ Cohen. And Biff Jones, when he wouldn’t let Long address the team at halftime of a game. Current gov Jeff Landry is also immersed, but, given new coach Lane Kiffin’s 80% buyout ($91 mill contract), Kiffie will have to be pretty disagreeable for it to happen again. Lane being Lane , he’s doing his best, trying to play NFLers and all. It’s odd that Clemson, the school that invented big donorism — IPTAY — has fallen behind the curve now that it is so important. Plus there’s Dabo Swinney’s blind eye to how the game was rapidly changing. So loathsome is Kiffin that Dabo almost seems cuddly again. He joked about watching pro scrimmage tape to prepare for this. LSU has replaced Texas Tech as the sport’s villain. Clemson.
North Texas State @ Indiana. Curt Cignetti is a man of many talents. He can boast and smirk with the best of ’em. He can schedule with the most astute of pigskin mentors. And he can coach. Like really really really coach. Like 46-6 at the FBS level, 27-2 at the former basketball school. He also has nary a qualm about running up a score. Which means the reigning national champion Hoosiers will turn the Mean Green into the Meek Green.
Youngstown State @ Kentucky. Youngstown O H I O is a football town. A short list of pigskin stars who came from there includes Bernie Kosar, Bo Pelini, Pat Narduzzi, Frank
Sinkwich and the Brothers Stoops. Not to mention the magnificently named Zippy Morocco, a two sport star for Georgia. None of them will be either suited up or on the sideline, wearing a headset. What the Penguins do have is a W under their belts. Albeit over Mercyhurst, 43-10. New mentor Will Stein’s Wildcats remain a mystery, but a confident one for sure. The question is whether UK’s easy victory will inform the Big Blue Nation about the season’s prospects or not?
Louisville vs. Mississippi (Nashville). U of L in prime time Labor Day weekend openers against an SEC foe has been less than impressive. I still have nightmares about that Alabama game. Then there’s that 19 point L to Ole Miss in ’21. A lot is riding for both coaches. Can Jeff Brohm kick it up a notch, become a viable CFP threat? Can Pete Golding, whose career started with the Fighting Okras of Delta State, prove a worthy successor to you know whom? It takes a lot for me to pick against the Cardinals. Which I do not here. Louisville.
— c d kaplan
