I've said it many times, unironically: Joey Chestnut is one of, if not the most dominant athletes of all time.
But even Michael Jordan took a couple of losses in his day, and the man they call "Jaws" just took a heartbreaking loss in a tater tot eating contest during his barnstorming tour of minor league baseball stadiums.
However, this loss will come with one big, fat asterisk.
Chestnut has been going around the country for special events and doing what he does best, eating copious amounts of food and obliterating the competition in the process.
However, when he rolled into a Lake Country DockHounds game just outside of Milwaukee, Chestnut met his match.
He lost the tater tot eating contest by just one tenth of an ounce.
Down goes Chestnut! Down goes Chestnut!
A stunner. I can't even wrap my head around how much tater tot is equal to a tenth of an ounce. I wish I had a bag of Ore-Ida's and a kitchen scale on me to figure it out (I checked the freezer; no tots, but there was a freezer-burned bag of Arby's curly fries in the back, so we were close).
It has to be like a sliver of a tot. You could accidentally inhale that much and not even notice.
A shocking defeat... or is it?
Reread that post: Chestnut took on pairs of fans.
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That means two guys tag-teamed trays of tots like a pair of hungry Napoleon Dynamites and still only won by less of a tater tot than is probably between your driver's seat and center console right now.
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So you know what? That's not a loss for Chestnut; that's a win in my book, and the record books should reflect that.
Give him the L, but let's make sure that there's an asterisk on stand-by to explain it.
I knew there was no way Jaws was going down mano-a-mano in a tot-off.