Grand Theft Auto VI: can playing a video game count as cheating on your partner?

There was never any doubt that Grand Theft Auto VI’s extended look would elicit a viral reaction from the internet. Having won the Game Awards’ Most Anticipated award twice consecutively, Rockstar’s forthcoming crime opus is one of the most frothed-over games in recent memory, or indeed ever. It’s nothing short of a cultural phenomenon.

One aspect of the game has provoked an unexpectedly vehement response on social media: not violence, but romance. Protagonists Lucia and Jason are in love, you see, and as a player, part of your job is keeping their spark alive and their relationship strong, so that their criminal escapades are underpinned by a strong connection to one another. Holding hands, enjoying a date at the beach, spontaneously texting one another when apart – all of these interactions will strengthen their bond. You’ll be putting in a lot of work to ensure this couple thrives, which is why some people have come to believe that playing GTA VI counts as micro-cheating.

Takes on this are all over social media. Multiple users have shared posts claiming that if you romance characters in video games such as GTA VI you’ve been unfaithful to your partner; TikTok account El Michelle remarked that simply playing the game is cheating. “In absolutely no human way is my fiance playing GTA VI,” posted Shelby Haas, another TikTok user. “You literally have to maintain a relationship with a girl […] you have to take her on dates, and you can have sex with her. […] Don’t let your boyfriend or fiance or husband play GTA 6.”

Over on TikTok, a post by Landry states that GTA VI “is basically the same as cheating”, continuing: “I guarantee you, if your man is playing GTA VI and keeping his little girlfriend alive on that video game, he’s most definitely the type that’s following models.”

GTA VI is by no means the inventor of in-game dating – hello, Baldur’s Gate 3, in which you can romance and have sex with any (or several) of your eight companions, including a druid who transforms into a bear. And surely we all remember trying to persuade our Sims to get off with each other. For at least 20 years dating and romance have been a significant element of all sorts of different titles; there is an entire (immensely popular) genre of dating games devoted to playfully living out virtual relationships.

Even so, due to its unrivalled online presence, GTA VI will be many people’s first exposure to the idea. Video game newcomers on TikTok seem especially exercised about the lengths their partners will go to to maintain a happy in-game relationship with Lucia, though it’s worth pointing out that it goes both ways: playing as Lucia, you’ll have to put just as much effort into maintaining a strong relationship with Jason. (The notion of maxing out the romance with Jason hasn’t provoked nearly as intense a response.)

It’s easy for people to revert to off-the-shelf misogynistic accusations about “jealous” and “overreactive” spouses in a situation like this, and indeed, many counter-commentators have done just that. “‘GTA VI is literally cheating’ is something I would say if I was a jealous, insecure hag […]” declares one TikToker. In the comments on one Instagram video, someone opined that GTA VI “promotes lust”, resulting in a massive pile-on.

But what if this isn’t knee-jerk jealousy? Behind these rather laughable concerns about virtual girlfriends, there are valid insecurities here over the idea of one’s real-life partner being more invested in a fictional character than a real-life relationship. Especially for young people, we’re in an age of loneliness and disconnection, fuelled by being chronically online. It’s one of the greatest paradoxes of modern society: despite being able to instantly engage with anyone or anything, these interactions are superficial and fleeting.

The dating scene right now is bleak. Dating columnist-cum-novelist Annie Lord believes the way we treat each other is part of the problem: “People treat each other as disposable because they’ve got the mindset of an app.” Factor in the growing influence of the manosphere, which many say has “ruined dating”, and it’s not hard to comprehend why experts say we’re experiencing a global dating crisis. Since 2014, the number of young people without close friendships/relationships has “risen fivefold”. Joke all you want about oversensitive gen Zs, but they are experiencing life in a social vacuum.

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If you’re dealing in real life with men who don’t even text you back, let alone take you on a date, it’s easy to see why it would sting to watch them engage enthusiastically in a video-game relationship with a virtual woman whom they shower with expensive gifts, bouquets, and thoughtful messages. As TikToker RawTJR’s post joked: this is “how mfs gonna be treating Lucia in GTA 6 while treating their irl gf like shi”.

“I will NOT stand for people calling these partners ‘jealous’ or ‘overreacting’ when they clearly are trying to voice real concerns about their relationships,” wrote trans activist and sex educator Dee Whitnell in an Instagram post. “If someone feels underappreciated in their relationship but sees their partner fulfilling these needs for someone else (even if it is a game character), it’s totally understandable why they would feel a bit frustrated.”

As someone who explores every romance option in all games that allow it, I personally think it’s absurd to class in-game romances as a form of cheating – though I appreciate that individual boundaries can differ. People might more reasonably channel their concerns into conversations around AI companionship sites, such as Candy AI and DreamGF, that offer virtual sexbots. As far back as 2023 we were asking if an AI chatbot could be classed as cheating – and the technology has vastly improved since then.

More than anything else, this unexpected controversy around GTA VI highlights how dissatisfied and lonely many people are within their relationships. And a video game isn’t going to change that one way or another.